And it starts

In a few short months I'm turning...gasp...30! The big 3-0. As I approach this gigantic milestone in my life I have come to realize a lot of things. Things about life and about myself. Some good, some bad, some just are what they are, but while sitting outside watching my babies play while contemplating who I am in this world it occurred to me that maybe I should write it down. I used to write. I used to write a lot. I wrote poetry and I have unsuccessfully written two books, but neither really interest me anymore. I just want to jot random thoughts to a page. Like a diary or a journal but journals and I have a bad relationship and I haven't written in one since the big Journal Debacle of 2002 (that's another story for another time). So as I got used to using my fancy new gmail account and started following my friends' blogs I realized that maybe I should start one too. Not really to entertain anyone or even for anyone to follow. If they or you do, then great...welcome to my random life! But really I plan for this to be some sort of therapy for me. Thoughts on a page, expressing what I feel, how I feel, or even just what silly thing I'm thinking about or debating at the moment. I'm not going to pretend I'm some great writer. I mean I write like I talk. My grammar sucks, my spelling is only as good as my spell check. But that's the great thing about a blog. No one is going to grade my writing skills and the grammar police can kiss my ass.

I'm calling this my 1/3 life crisis because well obviously I'm turning 30 and even though technically 1/3 is 33...I'm not expecting to live much older than 90. As for my crisis...well mostly it's fun to say. I'm not exactly going through a crisis. I'm not about to buy some fancy car or move my family to Australia or something. I've just come to a point where I have actually figured myself out and am confident in who I am. I think back to who I was when I was in high school or even in my short college career and can't believe I wasted so much time just being so plain foolish. But that's part of growing up and they say it makes you who you are so I guess I should be grateful that it got me to where I am today. Because I may wish I had done a whole slew of things differently but ultimately I'd want to be right back here. Right where I am meant to be. It doesn't mean I don't think about it. I'm a dreamer. I always have been and I guess that's what this is for. When I feel like dreaming or thinking or figuring stuff out or even just sharing funny stories about my kids, I'll be here talking to whoever feels like listening. I can't promise I'll blog every day. I can't promise this will even last forever, but until the day comes that I'm bored with it and move on I'll make an effort to post once a week...sharing my crisis.