Babycenter posted on facebook today daring you to simply your birthstory and shorten it down to three words. I accept this dare but not before resharing both of my original birthstories. I'm sure anyone who has read this have read them or cares not to read them but they were two of the most important days in my life and there isn't much that I like more than a birthstory, especially my own.
First up...December 4, 2007 Bianca June
So just because I feel the need to share too much information and some people may want to read it (like Heather who wants to know everything) here's my birth story. Just to warn you it may be boring to everyone except me because I don't have Mark's sense of humor but I tried to keep it light. Enjoy!
Labor Part I (the is it real labor labor?)
As we all know I was scheduled to be induced at 6 am on December 4th. Mark's mom spent the night with us because of the storm and I, of course, stayed up late because I was excited and really couldn't have slept anyway. I finally get myself to bed somewhere around 11 and with my mind a-buzzing couldn't get to sleep. Eventually I did and got maybe an hour if I was lucky when I wake up at 1:45 am feeling some pretty painful cramps. They don't last long and go away so I'm not entirely sure if they're real labor pains or some more of that fun false labor I have been getting. Not wanting to wake up Mark for nothing I lay in bed timing them by the alarm clock...7 mins apart, 6 mins apart...okay maybe this is the real thing. Well I let them go until 2:30 so I can be fully convinced and then wake up Mark. All I can say is thank goodness for the jeep or we would have never gotten to the hospital on the very poorly plowed roads.
Labor Part II (the I'm not taking any drugs labor)
We get to the hospital at 3 am and head up to labor and delivery. I get all hooked up to monitors all excited that this could actually be it. She was meant to be born this day. The nurse tells me I am in real labor so no more questions about that and then checks to see how dilated I am. Only 4 cm. So basically I'm in early almost active labor. Great...so I have like forever left to go. Meanwhile the pretty painful cramps are turning into really painful cramps and the fact that I haven't really gotten much sleep since Sunday night is starting to catch up to me. I get to hang out in the very cool whirl pool tub. If you have a baby and they have one of those...use it! It helps. I'm pretty happy in there for about 2 hours before I start to get both super wrinkly and in even more pain. I get back to bed and they check my dilation again...still only 4 cm. Mark comments on my stupid cervix and I'm starting to agree with him.
Labor Part III (the I can't do this labor)
Somewhere around the time of 7 I'm in an incredible amount of pain and am beginning to think that I can't do it. Okay maybe I'm saying I can't do this. Nurses and Mark are trying to convince me otherwise. Yeah right. Like they know what they're talking about. Focus on my breathing? Sure, once I get past the intense pain!!! I try the tub again. That lasts not very long. I'm ready to breakdown. I'm thinking about doing it. Doing the one thing I swore I would not do...take the drugs. They have me try the birthing ball next which is really just this big yoga ball that you sit and rock or bounce on. It's not feeling too bad other than hurting my hips and putting me to sleep which doesn't last because another contraction comes. Now my hips feel like they're going to pop off. The nurse explains the drugs to me and I decide to go for it. Hey I'm exhausted and I know my limits. I didn't want to take them but there's only so much pain one can deal with on little to no sleep in over 24 hours.
Labor Part III (the I'm high labor)
It's 10 am and they give me the staydol which is just drugs in your IV that don't completely numb the pain but can make it not so bad for an hour. Basically they make you feel drunk. Though to me it was more like I was high...a little giddy, nodding off, spacing out. Not so bad and I don't have to deal with the epidural. I like this.
::2 hours later::
Okay the pain is coming back. I need more happy drugs!!! I'm crying and whimpering and shaking and getting aggravated with Mark who is only trying to tell me to breath. They give me more of the drug, I'm now 5 cm and they decide to break my water. Good maybe we'll get somewhere now. Of course, now the contractions are becoming unbearable and the drugs aren't working. It's somewhere around 1 pm and they're talking about giving me pitocin to induce me since I'm still only 5 cm. If I go on pitocin I'll want the epidural because it makes contractions more intense or more painful. Can they really get more painful? So rather than wait for the pitocin I ask for the epidural. It takes a while for every laboring woman's best friend to get there and my head is now spinning I'm in so much pain.
Labor Part IV (just friggin kill me)
I'm screaming, I'm yelling, I'm crying...I'm asking them to make it stop. I even asked them to just friggin kill me. They're trying to get the epidural in and I'm just out of my mind. Most of that whole time was a blur. I just remember feeling each contraction start out as cramps and then turn into the worst pain you can possibly imagine. After each one I hope that the epi will be in and it will all be over and I may be able to even take a nap. Then another contraction hits. Goddammit just give me the drug already!!! Then the contraction ends a little early and my legs are feeling a little numb. Ahhh....much much much better. They check my cervix and I'm nearly 10 cm. Of course. Now that I have the drugs I'm pretty much ready to push. No need for pitocin now. I'm ready to go.
Labor Part V (I see the poop)
It's 2 pm and they want me to start pushing. I have a student nurse on one leg, another nurse on the other. Mark holding my head and counting and the doctor down in babyland. Pushing isn't so bad. There's a lot of pressure and you feel like you have to poop but compared to dealing with contractions it's not bad. Of course I'm on the epidural and I barely feel my contractions so maybe it's different without it. I don't know. I just start pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing. An hour later and I'm still pushing. They put a mirror in front of me so I can see, which after seeing Knocked Up I swore I wouldn't do. I guess drug induced you just don't care. It gives me something to focus on anyway which is how scary it looks down there but I won't go into those details. What I can see is the poop that I'm pooping when I'm pushing because really pushing to give birth is like pushing when you have to poop and inevitably poop comes out. As Mark says...we really are born into a world of shit. Of course they clean it up but when the doctor asks if I saw the head move out a little I say...no, but I saw the poop.
The baby is positioned sunny side up which means that her face is to the ceiling which apparently does not make for easy birthing. The doctor has to try and turn her. Yeah turn her. Of course, my baby fights this and every time she's turned she goes right back. The little stinker. So I'm thinking pushing might not be bad. Shara only had 15 mins. Maybe I'll be lucky. 2 hours later, I'm not feeling so lucky. The head is starting to come out though and they ask if I want to touch it. Another thing I swore I wouldn't do but I easily succumb to peer pressure and touch the baby's head. I can only describe the feeling as one of those gel stress relief balls with the little beads inside except that there's a hard center to it. It was weird and I didn't keep my hand there for long. Just too weird.
Eventually I get through it though and with some more tough pushing at 4:18 pm the baby is out. Yay I did it! Drugged induced and exhausted but I did it. After a grand total of 14 1/2 hours of labor I'm a mommy to a screaming chubby cheeked little girl and I couldn't be happier. It almost makes you forget how awful labor is...but only almost.
So to sum Bianca up in three words...Pain. Poop. Princess
And November 7, 2009 Bowen Wolfe
I decided that if I'm going to write this I might as well do it as I did Bianca's birth story. So I jumped on myspace for the first time in forever so I could try to write it in the same style. Enjoy!
Labor Part I (the going to be induced labor)
Due to my blood clotting issues they decided to induce me early at 39 1/2 weeks. I was told to come in at 8 am on Saturday the 7th. I half expected to go into labor on my own like with Bianca but when the alarm went off at 7 am I realized I was actually going to be induced this time. So I said a tearful goodbye to Bianca (yeah I was hormonal) and went to hospital. It's so different this time. No rushing to the hospital...no blizzard. I am somewhere between calm and excited and nervous. We get there around 8 and with all the other stuff they have to do it takes 2 hours before they actually put me on the pitocin leaving us wondering why we had to be there at 8 but having a baby is never a quick thing. I am 4 cm at this point and hoping the pitocin will do its job and not take 14 hours.
Labor Part II (the I'm having contractions? labor)
So I have the IV in pumping the pitocin which since the nurse had a hard time getting into my vein left my hand sore and with a nasty bruise. But I'm just hanging out watching Law and Order because it's the only thing that's on that early on Saturdays. A couple of hours go by and I'm getting hungry so I ask about food. The nurse gets the Dr who wants to check me and see how things are going. I am only 4 cm still so she decides to break my water in order to get things going. After that she tells the nurse that since I'm having back to back contractions to lower the pitocin or actually take me off of it and let things progress on their own. Contractions? What contractions? I hadn't felt a thing! So I ask the nurse if I was really having any contractions and she was surprised that I wasn't feeling them. Well this isn't a bad labor at all then. Unfortunately I was only allowed to eat clear liquids which consist of beef broth, jello, and juice. Yum yum! Still I got to just hang out and leave Jennie a very calm message about how I'm in labor but not feeling anything. I am now in love with pitocin labor and am hoping the rest goes this easily so I can actually try to give birth without drugs. Woo hoo!
Labor Part III (the I really think I peed myself labor)
It turns out that taking me off pitocin wasn't a good idea since it slowed things down, so they put me back on. My water is leaking at a constant basis and I feel like I have to pee. I'm not sure if it's the water breaking that's causing this or if I really have to pee but at one point I turned to Mark and told him that I was pretty sure I peed myself. The nurse assured me that I didn't. I'm still feeling good at this point and Jennie calls me back and I chat with her for a while. While talking to her they up my pitocin because things still aren't going anywhere. I guess turning it off was a mistake. That's when I start to feel the contractions though they still aren't bad. I do end up getting off the phone just in case they got worse. I'm sure Jennie wouldn't have wanted to hear me screaming in pain. Plus Mark was just sitting there so I guess I should talk to him at some point. It was good timing because now things were getting more intense. I am reminded of how much I did not enjoy this with Bianca and decide that the next time the nurse comes in I'll ask for drugs. She offers anyway and I'm just glad I'm trying to head this off before it gets worse.
Labor Part IV (the I can't keep my eyes open labor)
The nurse checks me and I'm now 5 cm but knowing that is only half way seems like forever to go. She gives me this drug called Nubain which comes in two injections...the second one hurt a lot!! It took 10 minutes to kick in and the only reason I knew it kicked in was because it became impossible to keep my eyes open. She had also stopped the pitocin again and left me with this weird groggy feeling between contractions which I still felt. They didn't feel as bad but I don't know if that was the drugs making them easier or being off of pitocin. Either way I was not enjoying the feeling and would have much rather just had the epi. It is pretty much like this for an unknown amount of time because I was so out of it.
Labor Part V (the I feel like I just got punched in the taint labor)
The contractions kept getting stronger and stronger and with less time in between for my eyes to feel heavy. I am moaning and complaining during contractions when suddenly I feel what truly can only be described as literally getting punched in the taint. Although it felt like it was coming from the inside and that's exactly what I told Mark. I don't know if it was the baby or what but it was the weirdest feeling this I have ever experienced. Labor is now pretty close to unbearable and I'm just waiting for the wonderful man with the epidural to come in and save me and make everything hearts and flowers.
Labor Part VI (the either the head is coming out or I'm about to poop a bowling ball labor)
So far no wonderful man with a gigantic needle has come to save me. I'm moaning and yelling and practically crying in pain. The Dr checks me and I'm 8 to 9 cm and I realize that chances are that I'm not getting an epidural at this point. She has me lay on my side to try to get things going in another position. So I lay there screaming every few seconds when suddenly I get the urge to push...big time!!! They are asking me all these questions that I just can't put the thoughts together to answer...such as what is the baby's name? They then ask if I feel like I need to push and I say...either that or I'm going to poop a bowling ball. Sure enough it was not a bowling ball and the head was starting to come out. They run to get the Dr and this parade of nurses and whoever come in and I'm too busy hitting my wall of pain that I don't know who anyone was. I just kept saying that I couldn't do it and to get him out. The Dr makes Mark hold up my head and look at her so she could talk me through it like a coach trying to motivate an athlete with a serious "I mean business" sort of tone. I still said I couldn't do it but after 2 1/2 pushes, his shoulders getting stuck, and a nurse pushing on my stomach to help get him out...Bowen was here! All 8 lbs 15 oz of him. So now I can officially say I have one of each child and have had one of each kind of birth. If Mark agrees to have a third child...I'm definitely making sure I get the epidural.
And of course I'm so grateful that everything went as well as it did. I adore my son and am glad to bring him into this family and world. I have no regrets with this birth experience and would gladly do it all again in a second.
And to sum up Bowen in three words: I hate Pitocin. haha although true, I kid. Medicated. Unmedicated. Boy!
And there you have it. My full novel birthstories and the three word versions. I will never forget a second of either of those days and as fun as it is to simplify it down to three words both of those days had far more of an impact on me than is possible to explain is just three simple words. My babies are a story written by my heart...one with no ending and no word limit.
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